This year has been really strange. At first it was fun because my people were always home. We went on walks, watched lots of tv, and snacked on delicious treats. After a while though I sort of wanted things to go back to normal. I missed the quiet. I really longed for my extended family and barbecues. Most of all I missed my alone-on-couch time. The family is driving me crazy! I can’t believe I am saying this, but it’s true.
For one thing, the family is really needy. They are always wondering what I am doing and checking up on me, or telling me what to do. We are all gaining weight, which has made it hard for me to get on the couch. I can’t seem to say no to the treats. We haven’t been to the dog park or the beach, since I can’t remember when. At first, they seem interested in endless long walks, which honestly initially was so tiring. They even took me to the vet, thinking I was lethargic, when in reality I was purely exhausted.
I now dread going to the vet, which is something I used to adore. It’s become so stressful, and I always think it’s my fault. I hear my people on the phone, angry they can’t get the appointment they want. Then they are upset that they all can’t go in the building with me. They can’t understand why there isn’t time to do that laser appointment for my hips. My people are in bad moods and seem to relish terrorizing and complaining to the nice nurses and folks behind the desk. I don’t know why; I love those people. They always know my name and give me treats and say how beautiful I am. My people never seem satisfied. They don’t like waiting; they blame everyone else but the doctors for their misery. Me, I’m happy to hang out in the car and wait my turn. I get scared in the lobby when there is too much going on. And the doctors are the most scary, you never really know what they are going to do next.
My last trip to the vet was the worst. I had a bad stomach ache and diarrhea which got me in a lot of trouble. I couldn’t help pooping all over the dining room rug. Honestly it seemed the best place to go, out of the way where no one would see it. My people were crazy stressed, and refused to see that nice new doctor who has the softest touch and always gets on the floor with me. Instead, I heard them demanding to see one of the docs that frankly scares me a little. But I kept my mouth shut, I was already in enough trouble. When I threw up in the car that was the turning point. Because they insisted, we see the other vet, we had to wait in the car with the puke smell over 50 minutes, as it was pouring rain outside. I don’t mind rain.
Once we got inside my person really hammered the desk people, insisting I was dehydrated and loosing blood and close to death. What I actually was dying from was mortal embarrassment from their yelling and screaming. I felt sorry for the whole staff. They looked tired and sad.
Once in the exam room with my favorite nurse I thought things were looking up, until my human snapped about the unimportance of what food, or treats, I eat and instead kept blabbering on about the blood in the stool and threatening ‘you’d better do something quick.’ The crazy part was my person was much nicer to the vet, which I found odd as this was the vet that always scares me a little. If there is anyone to be cranky with, it should be that vet who always puts their finger up my butt. Luckily the vet wasn’t in the room long, they had to go help a cat yowling in pain with blood everywhere. I was really scared.
Anyway, it turns out I wasn’t dying. I had colitis cause my dad gave me fried chicken and French fries while binge watching a never-ending horrifying Netflix series.
I miss Disney movies.
I wish my people could relax and take it a moment at a time like me.
I wish I could say No to fried chicken.
I wish kindness would come back.